A Tip of the Hat…

A tip of the hat to Oracle, the company that really came through this month. As everyone who’s anyone knows, the backbone of society, TikTok, was almost ripped away from us. Being a Chinese-owned corporation, many feared that the Chinese government was actually using TikTok as a way to gain access to Americans’ personal information to use against the U.S. So, Trump issued an order that TikTok would be banned. 

The night this order was announced was a national breakdown. The emotional distress this threat ensued on users of every age across the United States was spreading like wildfire. What would the famous creators do? What would we do for two hours before going to bed? How would we procrastinate doing our homework? It was chaotic.  

Then, a second announcement was released. Trump released a statement saying that if in 45 days TikTok was sold to an American corporation by a Chinese parent company, the app would remain. There was hope. TikTokers all around the country united under the goal to convince a company to step up and do the dang thing. The Gen Z/ Millenial army rose up to fight for their life. They were pressed for time. The deadline, Sept. 15, was drawing near. No one had bought it yet. But then, on Sept. 13, it happened. Oracle bought TikTok. They had saved America. All was going to be okay. 

Thank you, Oracle. With love, all of America. 

…A Wag of the Finger

A wag of the finger to gender reveal parties, specifically those in El Dorado, Calif. Is there any better way to announce the gender of your unborn child than setting ablaze 10,000 Californian acres? The answer: Absolutely. 

Gender reveal party antics were popularized by a blogger in 2008 when she and her husband revealed their baby’s gender by cutting into a cake with frosting whose color gave away if it would be a boy or a girl. Many people have continued this trend, with some escalating the stakes of the originally benign celebration idea. In fact, some of the worst outcomes of this stunt include, but are not limited to, a Florida brush fire, plane crash, and subsequent killing of a grandmother.  

The brilliant idea to light a smoke bomb during peak summer weather and around an abundance of dry brush has led to the evacuation of 21,000 residents around the El Dorado area. While the sky appears a fiery orange for many miles outside of El Dorado, it is still unclear what the baby’s gender will be. Hopefully, next time smoke and ash are falling from the sky, it will provide more clues as to the gender of the arsonists’ baby.